Roses are red, my love(s)

August 27, 2015

The Bachelor 2015 - the bachelorettes, episode 1

So, hey.

Have you been watching the Bachelor?

Because I sure have.

I’ve been putting aside my (weird?) addiction to Survivor for the time being to watch this Totes All Class Reality TV Show.

Ooh they ladies be crazy. And scary. Okay so it’s what – 50% editing, 50% actual douchebaggery? – but still, there’s a good portion of them that come off scary and crazy.

I was sorry to see Emily stalk off. She was great TV. Totally the sort of girl who cut you down to size ruthlessly when you were only 12 years old and had no idea that being a bitch was something your peers could be. But, ah, she chose to flounce. Good flounce. A worrying lack of clips of her post-flounce – c’mon producers, didn’t she act out the finale of the storyline you had planned for her?

(Post rose ceremony: Ebru “she changed the course of the night”- eek. That was really catty.)

I like Heather – great soundbites. (You know what? I actually really liked Jacinda, as she had The Best soundbites. That grenade mime of hers was awesome.) Although Heather seems like the sort of girl that was always way too cool for you to be friends with, because she is so smart & sarcastic. I also love her lemon face when she hears about the other girls’ dates.

Snezana is drop dead gorgeous, and Bach can clearly not keep his body parts off her. This makes me think she’ll go far, even to final 2. But part of me wonders if despite his outward acceptance, Bach is going to stumble at the fact she has a daughter, and pass her over with some fake noble talk about how he wants to do the right thing by her & her daughter…

(En passant: I’m pretty sure the theme music for Jurassic Park is playing through most of Bach & Snezana’s encounters. Call me crazy, but I hear it. Like one of the producers thought, this couple is having A Moment here, we need some dramatic music, what’ve we got in the archives…)

Ebru or one of the gatecrasher girls is going next. I haven’t seen enough of the gatecrashers to figure it out yet.

Wait there’s an episode tonight! Right this minute, probably! Curse this not-having-a-tv-thing. I guess we’ll find out soon if my guess is right…

Oh if you are watching this Very Serious Television Show About True Love Don’t You Know, then you oughta read Buzzfeed’s recap of the first episode, Anal Glands and White Roses, because it’s awesome.

// pics from Tenplay

1 Comment

  • Reply kate August 28, 2015 at 10:05 am

    I totally called it.
    *highfiving myself*

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