Argh. I am having one of those writer freak outs. I don’t have a good idea. Everything I write is shit. I’m never going to make it. etc until eternity.
Intellectually I know all I need to do is put my head down & plough on. Which is fine during the day. I even feel positive about my writing during the day. But then it comes to evening & I sit down to look at my WIPs & I flail into a flailing sludge pool of despair. Waaah is me.
I really hate it. No, really. It’s pretty depressing. All I can do is look forward to when this contract ends & I get a little time to be a FULL TIME WRITER omgsquee.
In other far more thrilling and exciting news, I saw a dentist this week and WOW. There is a WORLD of difference between a) private Australian dental treatment at a small practice run by a young dentist who sees you herself, and b) an NHS dentist.
Obviously there’s a WORLD of difference in the cost too. But that is why we got health insurance here. (I’ve never had health insurance in my life before.)
I was so impressed. Even though (like everybody) I hate going to the dentist — actually I get a bit weird at the dentist, I think I get a bit flight or fight responsey & my brain leaves the building, because I never really understand much of what a dentist is saying to me and only start to recall it properly later, after I’ve left — this visit was awesome. This dentist took pictures of my teeth and showed them to me. I’d never seen my mouth like that before! Seriously, have you seen the roof of your mouth before?? It was pretty cool. And I have extra bony bits inside my lower jaw. My mouth is a weirdo! Her check up was the most thorough ever — all kinds of investigation into gum and bone and teeth, followed by a clean, fluoride treatment & x-rays. Everything looks okay for now although the next visit might show if anything needs doing to some old fissure seals & the stupidly expensive shitty inlay this NHS dentist gave me.
So. I’m happy to have found a good dentist on first try. Another one of those things you have to sort out when you move somewhere new. Usually I end up staying with whoever I go to first (bank, hairdresser, doctor, dentist, gym) — even if I kind of feel they’re not right, once I’ve been somewhere & know the place, it’s hard to try somewhere else!